I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
