Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
