This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
