I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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