and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this hospital has no fireball
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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