? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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