i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
