No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
