I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
