You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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