Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
