Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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