i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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