I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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