You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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