I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
