Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
