So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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