i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
