but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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