I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
