She is in my trunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize