I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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