just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
