All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize