I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
