now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
