I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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