Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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