It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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