You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
