Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

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(509): View more from Washington

am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

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Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...

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(587): View more from Alberta

My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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(330): View more from Ohio

GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE

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(720): View more from Colorado

All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.

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