she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
