how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode