In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
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Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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