so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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