so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
