I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
