Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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