Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize