Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
