my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
