He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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