she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
