Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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