She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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