i just google imaged poop.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
