Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
