I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
