It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
