come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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