My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
