physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
