We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
