he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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