Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
