the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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