dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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